When I was a wee lad, meal time meant gathering around the table. Everyone sat together and talked about events and enjoyed the meal. And the men folk would remove their hats before sitting down. Going out to a restaurant, same thing. Men removed their hats before sitting down. The coat rack at the door also had a shelf for hats, and as often as not it would be layered in a variety of head coverings. Everything from dressy cowboy hats to battered ball caps were removed and shelved for the meal. I asked once, in my youthful innocence, why this was done. I was told it was a sign of respect toward others at the table, that it was a polite thing to do. You remove your hat for the flag, for meals, in church, in school, and when kissing your lady. Women, of course, were never required to remove their hats. This is largely due to a holdover when ladies hats were essentially bolted to their heads with multiple pins, clips, duct tape, cement, whatever they could use. Women never did have to remove their hats, and those who wear hats still don't remove them, even if it's a ball cap.
This doesn't happen anymore. I was in a small diner yesterday and most of the men were wearing their ball caps. Even one elderly man had his gaudily patriotic ball cap on while eating. I, of course, removed my fedora and placed it on the table next to me, not having a hat rack or empty chair to use. This garnered a few looks, but my appearance usually does so I took little notice. Still, no other hats were removed. I left my hat off until I stood up, as should be.
When did this small sign of respect fall to the wayside? When did it become too much hassle to remove your hat? I've been at a number of events which display the national flag and seen far too many men with their heads covered. Restaurants, same thing. Since I rarely attend any church, I can't say as I've noticed this trend there but the last church I attended (just a couple weeks ago) I didn't see any hats either in the sanctuary or on the hat rack. That was something, at least. If you aren't wearing a hat you don't have to worry about removing it.
Maybe it's because we've become so focused on our appearances we're afraid to be seen with "hat hair." We don't want people to see our heads for the mess they are from wearing a hat. This, of course, is vanity. I know my hair is mussed, but I would rather show my dining partner a bit of manners than be rude for shame in my hair.
Or perhaps it's laziness. The removal of a hat when greeting someone has downgraded to barely touching the brim, if that. Granted, tugging your forelock was a suitable alternative to removing your hat, but only if you didn't have a hat on in the first place. The removal of a hat when sitting down to eat isn't difficult. Hang it from the back of the chair, use the hat rack, place it on an empty chair, place it under your chair. It's not difficult or time consuming. You simply have to remember where you left it so you can retrieve it when done.
Gentlemen (and all you other guys out there), it's time we bring back manners. It's not a sign of weakness but strength to show manners and grace in the face of adversity. Remove the chapeau when sitting down to eat or when the flag goes by. Show the world your head in all its disheveled glory. Demonstrate to your dinner date the respect they deserve, and if she's any kind of lady she'll have the manners not to stare at your hair. Be gentlemen once more!
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